I can tuck mytits in my pants
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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