life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
someone get that fucking seahorse.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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