so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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