the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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