Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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