she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
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We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
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This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
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Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.