you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
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i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
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We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water