Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
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passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
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you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.