This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me