if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
