Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
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He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
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I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?