Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
