hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
