mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?