Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.