Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think

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  (202): if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think http://tfl.nu/ufei
  Replies (30) Good night (1636) Bad night (1335)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.

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  (843): trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts. http://tfl.nu/p33l
  Replies (17) Good night (675) Bad night (2082)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.

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  (307): He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him. http://tfl.nu/54ly
  Replies (7) Good night (3907) Bad night (1072)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...

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  (250): Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety... http://tfl.nu/2t4m
  Replies (8) Good night (3432) Bad night (1299)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.

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  (405): Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up. http://tfl.nu/852v
  Replies (6) Good night (3337) Bad night (1072)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.

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  (508): I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper. http://tfl.nu/3wm1
  Replies (13) Good night (2223) Bad night (1228)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no

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  (620): If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no http://tfl.nu/7ldp
  Replies (8) Good night (2713) Bad night (1073)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.

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  (412): He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead. http://tfl.nu/inh1
  Replies (18) Good night (1322) Bad night (3320)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.

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  (904): Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars. http://tfl.nu/rfvc
  Replies (2) Good night (1938) Bad night (1096)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.

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  (347): It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow. http://tfl.nu/mzdk
  Replies (9) Good night (1861) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.

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  (314): We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock. http://tfl.nu/jkqv
  Replies (0) Good night (584) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?

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  (860): nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud? http://tfl.nu/etdo
  Replies (2) Good night (831) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna

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  (416): 7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna http://tfl.nu/ilm9
  Replies (2) Good night (360) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..

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  (918): You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man.. http://tfl.nu/8lw1
  Replies (1) Good night (313) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.

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  (423): I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover. http://tfl.nu/e91a
  Replies (5) Good night (665) Bad night (410)

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