Texts From Last Night

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  (909): View more from California

  We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.

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  (909): We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter. http://tfl.nu/smvu
  Replies (12) Good night (5663) Bad night (914)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can

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  (403): That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can http://tfl.nu/qmqm
  Replies (28) Good night (885) Bad night (4416)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.

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  (479): I had fun last night. We should have sex less often. http://tfl.nu/07uu
  Replies (8) Good night (1412) Bad night (6923)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.

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  (281): Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit. http://tfl.nu/j2fi
  Replies (27) Good night (1506) Bad night (4196)
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  (631): View more from New York

  even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away

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  (631): even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away http://tfl.nu/ld5s
  Replies (14) Good night (2946) Bad night (981)
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  (805): View more from California

  Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.

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  (805): Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy. http://tfl.nu/cdtm
  Replies (23) Good night (5436) Bad night (1165)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK

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  (551): Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK http://tfl.nu/f4xz
  Replies (6) Good night (3782) Bad night (1033)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.

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  (903): The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover. http://tfl.nu/9bmt
  Replies (34) Good night (4375) Bad night (1070)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.

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  (519): sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass. http://tfl.nu/vgdt
  Replies (5) Good night (2583) Bad night (859)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.

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  (515): Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me. http://tfl.nu/qah0
  Replies (9) Good night (671) Bad night (1896)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.

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  (512): Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food. http://tfl.nu/gt6w
  Replies (11) Good night (2829) Bad night (581)
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  (415): View more from California

  My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.

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  (415): My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me. http://tfl.nu/kvah
  Replies (7) Good night (865) Bad night (419)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set

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  (702): By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set http://tfl.nu/1rax
  Replies (12) Good night (1380) Bad night (904)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics

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  (904): It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics http://tfl.nu/x92g
  Replies (1) Good night (765) Bad night (402)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  This is my gift to your gina

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  (214): This is my gift to your gina http://tfl.nu/cr2i
  Replies (8) Good night (502) Bad night (343)

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