we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
