I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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