only if we run a train.
done.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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