you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
