I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
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Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
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Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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