i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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