i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
