no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
