just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
