Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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