Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
