i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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