Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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