Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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