when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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