I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The air was thick with penises
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
