Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Randomize
