I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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