So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Ladies don't puke and tell
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
