Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Randomize
