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• (925): View more from California

  Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?

  (1-925): View more from California

  Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (786): View more from Florida

  It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (818): View more from California

  You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance

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• (408): View more from California

  I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.

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