we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
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Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
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I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?