Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?