also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out