Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  That burning is chlamydia

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  (612): One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence (202): That burning is chlamydia http://tfl.nu/w9ru
  Replies (9) Good night (945) Bad night (3779)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."

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  (402): I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while." http://tfl.nu/xrqm
  Replies (26) Good night (958) Bad night (5899)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.

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  (847): I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever. http://tfl.nu/av4z
  Replies (15) Good night (786) Bad night (4271)
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  (415): View more from California

  The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.

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  (415): The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight. http://tfl.nu/rmxq
  Replies (20) Good night (4064) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name

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  (571): I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name http://tfl.nu/x94s
  Replies (24) Good night (6215) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?

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  (971): the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together? http://tfl.nu/xjvt
  Replies (38) Good night (5861) Bad night (1682)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great

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  (210): If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great http://tfl.nu/uyht
  Replies (10) Good night (2822) Bad night (1714)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.

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  (204): You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/qhl9
  Replies (3) Good night (1643) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up

  (1-585): View more from New York

  Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit

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  (585): Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up (1-585): Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit http://tfl.nu/gck7
  Replies (6) Good night (2409) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.

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  (816): I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird. http://tfl.nu/t4fk
  Replies (2) Good night (1289) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?

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  (479): Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace? http://tfl.nu/xfzk
  Replies (2) Good night (1395) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.

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  (570): Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid. http://tfl.nu/hx89
  Replies (15) Good night (652) Bad night (3367)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  And I might get them triple pierced after that

  (631): View more from New York

  Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors

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  (239): And I might get them triple pierced after that (631): Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors http://tfl.nu/vrzy
  Replies (13) Good night (1094) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.

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  (575): Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies. http://tfl.nu/3spj
  Replies (4) Good night (547) Bad night (997)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough

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  (+44): He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough http://tfl.nu/6ovf
  Replies (5) Good night (437) Bad night (453)

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