Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?

(847): View more from Illinois

Beat you to it.

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(515): Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card? (847): Beat you to it. http://tfl.nu/fyxy

Replies (9) Good night (1796) Bad night (608)
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(801): View more from Utah

Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...

(435): View more from Utah

A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?

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(801): Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah... (435): A message to Mrs Obama perhaps? http://tfl.nu/yprl

Replies (8) Good night (1281) Bad night (643)
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(845): View more from New York

Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo

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(845): Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo http://tfl.nu/oxyw

Replies (8) Good night (1264) Bad night (736)
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(616): View more from Michigan

If i could tip my vagina, i would.

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(616): If i could tip my vagina, i would. http://tfl.nu/vria

Replies (7) Good night (3506) Bad night (588)
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(613): View more from Ontario

You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..

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(613): You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon.. http://tfl.nu/gnh9

Replies (16) Good night (827) Bad night (5282)
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(906): View more from Michigan

How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?

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(906): How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum? http://tfl.nu/z56i

Replies (56) Good night (1156) Bad night (9911)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night

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(215): I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night http://tfl.nu/glp8

Replies (6) Good night (1206) Bad night (4033)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.

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(703): Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor. http://tfl.nu/fx2a

Replies (4) Good night (2998) Bad night (1955)
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(305): View more from Florida

Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.

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(305): Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer. http://tfl.nu/0a2y

Replies (10) Good night (4645) Bad night (956)
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(573): View more from Missouri

and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.

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(573): and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat. http://tfl.nu/xl3m

Replies (2) Good night (943) Bad night (645)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand

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(304): I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand http://tfl.nu/6s03

Replies (10) Good night (904) Bad night (1180)
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(616): View more from Michigan

We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"

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(616): We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!" http://tfl.nu/th1o

Replies (13) Good night (2038) Bad night (543)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Worth it.

(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth

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(617): All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless (508): Worth it. (617): I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth http://tfl.nu/dnz7

Replies (11) Good night (1108) Bad night (693)
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(+61): View more from Australia

Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.

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(+61): Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things. http://tfl.nu/ocj8

Replies (4) Good night (664) Bad night (372)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that

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(908): it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that http://tfl.nu/wsh1

Replies (1) Good night (493) Bad night (281)

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