I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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