also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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