just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
