Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
