I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
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i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
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Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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