i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
