if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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