I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Your cock deserves a montage
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
