do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
