Having a random hookup so left but love u
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
