The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so explain again why im purple
no
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
