I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Randomize