her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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