ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
In America we eat man semen.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
