I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
