I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
