I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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