For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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