It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
