he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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