How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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