He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
