Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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