Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
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So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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