and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize