I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
