Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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