U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I want a musical about memes.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
