I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
