Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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