I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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