she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
