yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Randomize
