worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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